Canvas
by rednorthernlights
Summary: Hinata is a senior in highschool, wishing to Major in art. Heartbroken and lost, she resists old habits and befriends a mysterious boy named Gaara. Gaara definitely wrestles some demons of his own, is an outcast of all outcasts. How will these two help each other find themselves when they're so lost within everything else? A/U fic. GaaHina Rated M to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

I tell myself I don't need to be fixed but the words bounce off the walls I built around myself. They fly right back into me, pushing me around until I'm knocked off my feet. They leave bruises up and down my arms and sides, black, purple, yellow and green. Colouring my own body with my own shame and pain. Like a self-tormenting painter and his own canvas.

The bus is about to arrive at my house and I prepare myself to get off. I'm tired and broken and I just want to get away from all these familiar faces before I break down and start crying. Everything moves by me and I hardly notice, as if I'm stuck in the middle of the road but the traffic keeps rushing over and around me, a blur of lights and time slips through the cracks of my mind like sand.

The bus finally stops. "I'll see you tomorrow, Hinata, okay? Stay strong." Kiba encourages, his smile beamed up at me and I couldn't help the strange small smile that crawled over my lips.

"Thank you, Kiba. See you." My voice is quiet and polite, words tumbling out of my mouth automatically. I don't want him to see me weak, I won't let him see me breakdown. He deserves better than that.

I enter my house and take a look around. The rooms are empty and cold, no family pictures on the wall or the warmness of hearing a mother in a kitchen or children running around. Despite this, my house was very professional, extravagant. My fathers expensive taste hung around the room in pricey paintings and stiff looking furniture. Ever since mom had died, a family room had become a foreign concept in my fathers designing plan. My house is very large for only 4 people living in it, my sister Hanabi, my father, myself and Neji, my cousin. There was a small apartment in this house that Neji resided in, and although I know he tries to involve himself in our lives, he usually cuts himself off and hides in there. This makes my home even more lonely, since Father is usually at the office and my sister is off being a social butterfly or at one of her many sports or other events. That usually leaves the house to myself, which I don't really mind at the moment. Being alone meant not being bothered.

I dragged myself up the stairs and to the left of the house into my bedroom. Sighing, I collapsed onto the bed, and as I let my complications and pain bubble onto the surface I started to drown in them.

Broken images and memories of laughing and smiling swam around in my mind. A boys deep throaty laugh, my cheeks heating up to the point I thought I would combust, playful eskimo kisses, more serious deep kisses. Touching, moving, all to our own melody. No more restricted feelings, no more hesitating.

As the intimate recollections crept in, a black hole opened up in my chest, making it hard to breath and keep control. I cringed and folded into myself, wishing these feelings would go away. Wishing happiness didn't float around and be swept away so easily. I felt so lost and lonely. And I missed him, a lot.

And I knew the most pathetic part of it was that he probably didn't miss me at all. That he stole every part of me that made me, my innocence, my pride and my heart. He stole everything with a mischievous smirk and he played the game so well.

I cried for this boy a lot, and I knew for a fact he didn't even look my way at all anymore.

I was spiralling into some sort torrent of hurt feelings and anger and sadness. And I felt so helpless.

Everything once again blurred around me and before I knew it, in precise movement I had flipped onto my side and ripped open my night stand drawer. I brought out a small box decorated in flowers and opened it carefully.

Inside was a razor, shining and gleaming at me, beckoning me for it. It whispered and drowned every coherent and non coherent thought I had, leaving me in some sort of tranquil state. I inspected my own arms and traced my fingers over the bright white scars. I thought for a long time, of the pain, of everything terrible that happened to me and I knew I needed some sort of release. That a couple good cuts would sever these chains and I would feel in control again. I lifted my shirt then, looking at the word carved into my own body which had now faded into another scar.

Empty.

"Hinata! I'm home!" A door slammed shut and my sisters voice floated up the stairs. I snapped out of my state and hastily ripped my shirt down.

"Okay! Do you want me to cook supper?" I was surprised at how steady my voice was. Practicing to be perfect made you perfect and pretending to be perfect I guess.

"Yeah sure!"

I shut the box and put it back in my drawer and shut it violently.

I would not cut, because somewhere in the back of my mind, at least I hoped, I knew it was not worth it. He was not worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay I'm sosososo sorry, for the super late update. You may come after me with pitch forks and stuff. I would ): Anyways, thanks for reading. (: **

I step off the bus into the cool fall air. The wind plays with my inky hair and raises goose bumps all over my skin. My dress billows playfully around my legs and I pull my denim jacket closer in an attempt to maintain some body heat. I start to walk toward Konoha High School, the leaves crunching beneath my feet.

Autumn has always been my favourite season. I find peace in reading a good book underneath my favourite tree, listening to the cacophony of rustling leaves and the gentle breeze. Watching the sunset light the sky and trees on fire. If I was to paint the flaming skyline, it'd be a combination of deep reds, vibrant oranges and light browns.

"Hinata? Yo, Hinata!" Kiba's voice broke through my thoughts.

I look up at him, a little startled, "Oh! I'm sorry, I wasn't listening." How long was he trying to get my attention?

He looks at me a little concerned, "Are you sure you're okay? You've been spacing a lot lately."

I smile up at him, even I could feel it was fake, "I'm fine, I just haven't been sleeping well lately." I didn't mention it was because of a certain boy. Every time I close my eyes he's there, stealing all sense away and replacing them with memories tumbling over each other.

Kiba gives me a dubious look but I hope he doesn't push the subject, "Sure... anyways, what class do you have first?"

I fumble in my pockets for my schedule, thanking good taste for getting a dress with pockets in it, "Uhm, I have English with Mr. Hatake."

"Awesome, me too." Kiba answers, smirking to himself.

My face lights up when I hear this news, I won't be alone, "Yay!" I say with enthusiasm, approaching the school with more confidence.

Kiba and I part ways as we enter the school, and I walk towards my locker. As I dodge around student's greetings and reunions I can't help but think about him and my heart starts to race.

I wonder what classes he might have. Or if he's found a new girlfriend. Or if he's happy to see me.  
I didn't see him at orientation yesterday, I overheard something about him catching a stomach bug and not being able to come. He didn't miss much anyways. Just ice breakers and organizing your school life with teachers and counselors, listening to introductions and announcements of future events. I wonder if he'll talk to me though. He said he still would want to be friends, but does he mean it or is it courtesy to say that after you brutally dump your girlfriend over email while away at camp?

I arrive to my locker and fumble with the lock a bit before it opens. Sighing I swing open the door and gather my new English binder and journal.

"Hey Hinata, how was your summer?"

I blink and look to my right and Sakura is opening her locker next to me, her bright smile directed at me. I return with my own timid one.

"Oh it was fine. I had a job and worked on a few projects, so it was kind of busy. How about you?" I remember her advice on how keeping busy would make it easier. It didn't, at least not really.

"I spent most of it with Sasuke, but my family also went to Florida, which was pretty exciting. Anyways, I gotta be early for class. I'll see you around."

I nod, "Yeah okay, see ya."

I close my locker and walk with the stream of students until I approach the classroom and enter it. I immediately spot Kiba and take the seat next to his.

"So I hear Mr. Hatake is an easy going guy but hard marker. Ugh, this will be fun." Kiba complains and I just smile.

"Mm, I'm sure it won't be that bad." I try and be optimistic but Kiba just rolls his eyes.

I open my binder and someone enters the classroom.  
I look up and my heart starts to erratically beat in my chest and my throat get all cottony with all the words I didn't have the courage to say upon seeing him.

Deep brown eyes stare into my own weird grey ones, and my chest tightens.

There he is, was all I could think, I'm not ready for this.

"Hey, Shino! Come on over, I saved a seat for ya!" Kiba calls to his best friend, ignoring the tension. I don't blame him, he told me himself he wouldn't let this whole "drama llama" break up mess effect his relationship with both of us.

Shino slides his gaze away from mine and smirks before silently making his way over on the other side of Kiba. I hurriedly put my head down and focus on a blank lined paper.

Shit shit shit shit. Why is he so damn attractive. With that dumb smirk and pretty eyes and leather jacket and ugh.

I sit on my hands to stop their shaking as the adrenaline upon seeing Shino makes my head spin.

Suddenly I hear the bell go off and I look up towards the door to avoid any eye contact with Shino.

"So, how was your summer, man?" I hear Kiba ask.

A grunt in reply, "Camp was brutal."

Kiba laughs, "don't know why you ever decided to go."  
A chuckle. A deep throated one that shakes my core. "I needed a challenge."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You just want to look good for the girls."

Finally a grey haired but handsome young teacher leisurely strolls in the class, effectively cutting off all conversation.

"Short Stories is our first unit, so each of you take one of these stories, read it and identify the symbols and tell me what they contribute to the plot. Now go." Groans could be heard throughout the class room but he just smiles lazily and slumps onto his chair, seemingly satisfied with today's work, and in one swift motion he takes out a book and starts to read, ignoring his students.

I sigh and get up, one of the few students to actually grab a copy of the story and get to work. As I attempted to drown myself in words I couldn't help but feel it was increasingly hard to ignore Shino, and every so often I would look up to see his eyes on me, studying. And I would duck my head down, bangs hiding my flustered expression

This class would be interesting.

When 4th period arrives I welcome it with open arms. 4th is Art with Ms. Kurenai who is by far my most favorite teacher. I enter the classroom and sit down on a stool. The smell of paints, charcoal, paper and inks instantly steals away my tensions and carries them up into the atmosphere where they hang over me temporarily. I look over to the board and in Ms. Kurenais neat writing reads, "Sketch a fall landscape. Be sure to use proper shading and technique!"

I open my book bag and dig around for my sketch book and good pencils.

I lean my sketch book against a board and study the white paper before deciding how to start. I chew on the end of the pencil for a bit contemplating before I flip it around and start methodically attacking the paper with lines and shapes, my picture slowly transforming into a half decent outline of a landscape.

"Hey, Hinata!"

I look up from my project to see Naruto waving at me from across the room, his presence already making me giddy and excited. I put down my pencil and walk towards him. His smile widens as I get closer.

"Hi Naruto. How was your summer?" I ask politely. I always sort of found Naruto kind of attractive and fun, and we did try and go on a couple of dates, but we soon discovered we were better off as friends. He inspired me to be better, and I was always his net to fall back on when things got tough. We both agreed to not jeopardize that. I cherished our friendship.

"Oh it was fun! And hot! I love the beach, speaking of beach, have you met Gaara, he's from a pretty.. Hot Beachy area." He motioned to a red head that grumpily looked up from his sketch in annoyance.

"I'm from California, Uzamaki." Gaara growled. Aside from his bright red hair he also had brilliantly green eyes and very handsome features. He also seemed tired and worn.

"Heh, right." Naruto laughed sheepishly, "anyways, this is Gaara, exchange student, and this is Hinata." He introduced. I nervously shuffled my feet, feeling uncomfortable with the sudden attention.

Gaara finally turned his attention to me and butterflies erupt in my stomach as our eyes clash. His were cold and brilliant and... intriguing. He smirked suddenly, his humour changing, "You have pretty eyes," he compliments, never breaking eye contact.

My mouth goes dry and my face feels like its about to overheat and burst, "I.. Uh.. Uhm, you too." I squeak nervously, my eyes flicking to the floor, to the wall, anywhere but this Gaara character who already seemed to have a ridiculous effect on me. It was sort of frustrating.

He chuckles, a deep throaty one that makes me want to hear more. Stop it Hinata, stop thinking stupid things.

As I try to avoid eye contact my eyes fall upon Narutos sketch. "Uh, Naruto. What is that?" I ask meekly.

Naruto frowns and looks down at his picture, "It's a landscape." Gaara turns his attention to the picture too and snorts.

"Is that a flower? .. And a butterfly? .. Why does the sun have a smiley face."

"Whatever guys, it's abstract." Naruto grumbles, crossing his arms and pouting, "You're just a bunch of haters." Gaara smirks and chuckles again.

"No, no, Naruto its uh… It's interesting" I try and not giggle. Naruto doesn't believe me and is about to protest more but the bell rings.

Suddenly in one fluid motion Gaara is beside me and my senses become heightened. As if he knows the affects he has, he looks directly into my eyes and leans down.

"I'll see you around, Hinata." My name drips off his lips like honey and I wouldn't mind if he said it more often. His warm breath tickles my face and my face begins to heat up. He smells of peppermint and spicy cologne.

"Uh, yeah... I guess so." He chuckles one last time before leaving the classroom, and my heart is doing weird leaps in my chest. I realize I'm playing with my fingers, something I haven't done since childhood.

I sigh and look back at Naruto, "Is he usually that friendly with everyone?"

"Uh," Naruto shrugs, gathering his materials and stuffing it in his of bag haphazardly, "Not usually, actually, not at all. But I don't know him very well."

"Oh." I start to feel special as I head back to my station to gather my things.

I want to know this California exchange student. And how could he make me smile like a stupid idiot with the simplest things. Something that hasn't happened since Shino.

Then I frown, aren't I supposed to be still in love with Shino?

Being swept off my feet by some mysterious stranger so easily and early… Is that wrong?

**YAY THEY MET. (: K, so Hinata I feel will go through ALOT of development, meaning she won't be so shy or timid afterward. She will be able to express herself more clearly to others, Gaara will bring out that part of her, however it'll take some time. Also, Shino pulled a really douchey move (which we will learn more about later), but I also want to confess he had his reasons which you will figure out later. **


End file.
